


Alternate Timeline Shenanigans

by EnsorcelledReader



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blow Jobs, M/M, Mild Praise Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 19:24:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5882608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnsorcelledReader/pseuds/EnsorcelledReader
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Story based on Chibinsfw artwork. Jane has captured Dirk and makes him train Jake in being a future lover for her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alternate Timeline Shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

> Based on http://chibinsfw.tumblr.com/post/127885215987/im-trash-fucking-pirouhettes-out-of-here-and-so 

Jane re-entered his prison cell, still completely unaware of Brain Ghost Dirk’s presence. “You know, I’ve realized a solution to our little predicament.”

“W-what predicament.”

“Your repulsive personality matched with that hot body. See, I’ve been thinking, and while I need your genetic material for my empire, I have severe doubts about your ability to satisfy me sexually. I mean you cry so easily and are easily scared. I have no desire to take the time to train you properly. So, instead, here is a temporary lover for you to practice with.” Two large Dersian guards force Dirk, the real Dirk, through the door. He landed the most graceful way someone can when being thrown on their ass. “Now I’m not cruel, even though I could be since I detest you both.”  She dropped a selection of condoms and lube on the floor. “Dirk, try to see if you can get him up to an hour, hmmm?”

“Fuck you.”

“Not me, him.”

“And if I refuse? I seriously doubt he wants this, look at him!” Jake had retreated further into the corner and was blubbering like a child. Jane gave him a look of utter repulsion. 

“Make him want it, that’s why I brought you here. And if you refuse I can easily find someone else, my bringing you here was a kindness on behalf of both of you. Dirk gets to keep his life. And Jake gets a person he is familiar with to train him, of course I could always get one of the brutes here to break him in for me.” Jake let out a helpless yelp at the prospect. Jane smirked, “I’ll take that as consent to get started. I’ll give you two some privacy.” She set a jar in front of them. “I’d like proof of that the act was completed. Please supply some of your fluids here for confirmation.” Quickly leaving the boys to their own devices.  
“Dude, seriously stop crying. It looks pathetic.” Brain Ghost Dirk finally decided to give his two cents on the whole situation. “Here he comes, probably best not to mention my presence.”

“Hey Jake, you okay?” A surprisingly gentle hand cupping Jake’s face as the other wiped away his tear. “I just want to say, I’m sorry about everything. I was an ass, I should have given you space. I know I can be domineering, it was my first real relationship and, fuck I’m just sorry, okay?” His Strider cool gone, 100% genuine feelings pouring from him. 

Brain Ghost Dirk called Jake out, “Dude, we’re vulnerable as fuck right now and you’re just going to sit there? We are going to think you still hate us if you don’t start saying shit soon.”

The real Dirk went to turn away, presumably to give Jake space, when the adventurer grabbed his arm. “Me too. I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have run off like that, I should have let you know I needed space.” Tentatively, Jake reached for Dirk’s shades, the blonde didn’t try to stop him. Orange eye met green as their faces were pulled together in a tender kiss. 

When they pulled apart and looked once more into each other’s eyes they felt the chemistry first apparent when they started dating. That spark that acted as a magnet to each other. Dirk was the first to say something. “We don’t have to do anything Jake.”

“But Jane, and the jar.”

“I’ll jerk one out, she doesn’t need to know.” A heated blush filled Jake’s countenance.

“You should be comfortable too Dirk. It’s not like you’ll have any privacy.” Dirk was quite a stand-up guy for doing this, but still, he shouldn’t be so selfish. This had to be just as uncomfortable for Dirk as it was for him.

“Fuck dude, are you kidding? Jerking off while you’re watching is on our list of wet dreams.” Brain Ghost Dirk adding his own comment, making Jake blush harder.

“It’s fine Jake…are you okay with it? I mean, like you said, you’ll be in the room with me.”

“Yeah, yeah it’s fine. Would you like me to look away, or cover my ears?”  
“Whatever you’re comfortable with man.” Another sweet kiss. Dirk pulling away and yanking down his pants, rock hard.

“Already?!”

“Jake, you’re in fucking underwear with hairless legs and he’s had more contact with you in five minutes than he has the past two weeks. We are a horny teenage boy and the guy of our dreams just kissed us and forgave us. What makes you think we wouldn’t get off, at least a little, on that?” Brain Ghost Dirk’s input, the real Dirk must not have heard him, too busy palming himself through his underwear. 

An obscene groan tearing through his throat as he brought his fist to his mouth to muffle the sound. Jake couldn’t deny it, watching Dirk was hot. “Jake, get me the jar.” Dirk continued to palm himself, what he really wanted to do was finger himself as he stroked, but the situation was already awkward enough. The sound of glass being placed next to him, opening his eyes to Jake, pupils blown wide and the beginnings of a his own hard-on through his pants. “You getting off watching me Jake?” He expected the page to stutter, embarrassed.  Instead he got a confident, yet corny line that was perfectly Jake. 

“Who wouldn’t get off watching their strapping gent of a boyfriend pleasure himself?” Dirk reached up pulling Jake on top of him and their tongues met in panting desperate kisses. Dirk grabbing Jake’s face asserting dominance, soon hovering above him on the floor. 

“Can I suck you?” a question whispered as Dirk kissed down his neck.

“I-I, um…”

Dirk pulled away. “You don’t have to.” quickly correcting his proposition. “I just, um…never mind.”

Brain Ghost Dirk was happy to fill in the blanks. “It’s an ongoing fantasy for us. If you’re not ready to suck dick, don’t worry about it, there’s no expectation of you doing anything.”

“No, you can…just…you sure it won’t…I don’t know, gross you out?” It’s not like Jake had had a shower recently (although the God Tier flames seemed to have cleaned him…oddly enough), he couldn’t exactly guarantee it would be a pleasant experience. Dirk didn’t seem to care about that though.

“Fuck no, are you kidding?” practically moaning out his reply. He could still see that Jake was a little tense though, time to relax him a little. Lips met, tongues soon introduced. Using the kiss to distract him, Dirk let his hand wander down the boy’s body, pinching his nipple through the god tier shirt, earning a delectable whine. Hand wandering further, as its pair kept a grip on Jake’s hair, keeping him in place. Pushing up the yellow shirt to feel the bare skin, sending shivers down both spines. Finally, reaching Jake’s cock, rubbing him, pulling away from the kiss to watch as Jake unraveled a little beneath him. Eyes shut and breathless, beautiful. 

Dirk moved himself down, pulling the page’s bottom’s down, watching as his erection sprang free. He’s big, already dripping precum. Licking the tip, Jake let out a yelp. Looking up to see if the brunette was still okay with this, he was met with lidded eyes and a flushed face, practically begging him to continue. He refocused, taking the tip into his mouth, slowly taking more of Jake in. He had never actually done this before, he hoped he could still make it good.   
Jake wasn’t making an exorbitant noise. Little “nnnh”’s and “Ah”’s here and there, only encouraging Dirk to work harder. Taking more of him in until Jake filled his mouth and throat. Pressing his tongue flat, bobbing his head in a steady motion, moaning at the feeling of Jake in his mouth.

“Ah, Dirk, Ah.” Brain Ghost Dirk appeared at his shoulders.

“Is this all you’ve got Jake?”

What was he talking about? “Ah-N-no”

“Is it?”

“Ah!! Ah~”

“Come on bro.” Jake wanted to Brain Ghost Dirk to leave him alone, it’s not like he could fight back very well in this situation. “Moan louder.” Oh, why would he do that? It’s embarrassing making all those noises. The order isn’t helping him keep tabs on his noise either, having one Dirk suck him off while the other ordered him around…well,…let’s just say Jake certainly wasn’t averse to the situation.

“Hmmmmm~”

“Make us know you love it.” Of course he loves it, oh…

“Ah-yes! AAAAAAAA Dirk!” Relinquishing all control. Letting everything just fall out of his mouth as wanted.

“Good boy.” Fuck that’s hot. 

“Dirk! DIRK! HAH~” 

The real Dirk moaned again, fuck Jake was so hot when he was screaming. Finally, he must have gotten the hang of it. Jake was really enjoying himself.

  
“Oh god, your mouth, Dirk your mouth AH~ Fuck your lips are soft.”

“Good boy Jake. Say more.”

“So good, so good, AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” Coming into Dirk’s mouth as the blonde greedily swallowed it all. 

After finishing himself off, Dirk tucked himself beside Jake. Cuddling close, he felt an arm curl around him and the page’s body shift closer. A bright cape covering them both. They’ll clean up the mess later. 

*Few hours later*

Jane reappeared in the room, both boys groggy and half naked. “Well, it looks like I didn’t need the jar. It’s quite clear that you two did as instructed.” Meeting Dirk’s eye, “How long did he last?”

“Thirty seconds.”

“Hey!”

Brain Ghost Dirk decided to chime in, “Dude don’t screw it up, it’s best to start with the lowest baseline, that way we can stay together longer, maybe even be saved before Jane goes forward with her plan.”

_Thirty seconds thought? That’s embarrassing._

_Finally remember that I’m in your head and we can talk through thought? ‘Bout time.  
_

_Come on I lasted way longer than thirty seconds!_

_Do you want to become Jane’s husband slave and sire as many babies as she wants?_

_No  
You lasted thirty seconds._

  
Jake was broken from his thoughts, Dirk and Jane had continued their own conversation. 

“Hmm, you make a good point, very well, I’ll move you to a better location.” She turned and left the room, most likely to put her decision into action.  
“I spaced out for minute, what just happened?”

“I’m you official sex coach and we are getting and actual bedroom with a bed and shower.”

“Oh dear lord.” Jake hid his face in Dirk’s chest.

“And we’re no longer allowed to wear clothes unless it’s fetish gear.”

“OH MY GOD!”

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wrote this after a long annoying weekend of homework. Unfortunately, it's not my best (which sucks because I love the picture). But I can't figure out how to improve it right now.


End file.
